awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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