so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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