We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just found puke in my bra..
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
MIDGETS
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