I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Houston, we have a squirter
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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