Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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