afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
