didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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