How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
