I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
