It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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