You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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