There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
