my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
