That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Someone shit on the floor
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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