Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
