sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
