My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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