hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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