He is an equal opportunity slut.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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