I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
