One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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