he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
