they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My vagina just recognized that song.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
