Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
