We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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