we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
