I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
