I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
