i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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