It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
