I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
