Do you still have your period?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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