She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
