Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
