He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize