She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
