I must be too annoying 4 u.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
