I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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