Who did Billy Mays play for?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
