oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
