dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize