one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
you never un-have a 4some
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
