he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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