We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
