Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
