just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
