see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
