C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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