new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
