How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
