So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
