Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize