I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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