Girls should come with a carfax report
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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