dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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