I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
