I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
