and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
