Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
