my mouth tastes like poor choices
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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