The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
