we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
