I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
