you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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